Ever thought of what it takes to have self-confidence? Think of people in your environment that have self-confidence. What do they portray? Think of a sales person that has full confidence about the product he sells. How does he come across? A teacher that has self-confidence and confidence in the material he covers and the way he teaches. He KNOWS. He has no doubt about what he is talking about. He has no doubt about how to teach and he already knows what point in the material his students would find difficult to understand therefore before these confusions even arise he takes the time to go over those areas more painstakingly and slowly.
Ever seen a woman that is not quite beautiful but attracts men to her like bees to honey? Ever wonder what it is about her that men would find so attractive and yet the puzzling phenomena of a bombshell that can't get a date? It all comes down to self-confidence.
We are taught at home and at school that we should not praise ourselves; that we should be humble. God forbid if a child says: "I'm the smartest in my class" or "look how beautiful I am" or "How powerful I am".
There is a saying in Hebrew: "The baker should not praise or give testimony about the bread he bakes." I think this saying is a trap. If the baker would not tell me how wonderful the bread he bakes is, and why his bread is tastier and healthier than anybody else's, that baker would starve to death.
If a teacher says that he is the best in his field, you may think he was cocky, you may think he is conceited. Okay. But for a moment you would also think, that if he says so, there must be some truth in his statement and you would at least give it a try and buy a lesson or two to check him out. You would probably choose that teacher over the one who says nothing about his skills and just dryly and humbly tells you how much he charges per lesson.
Think about people in your life that praise themselves, their work and products. Most of them have self-confidence and that self-confidence is backed up by truth. There's nothing wrong in being cocky. There IS something wrong when one becomes too humble, when one doesn't promote himself and his worth with confidence. There is something wrong when one asks permission to breathe or to be the person he wants to be. There is something wrong when you ask people for their opinions when you really don't need them as you already know.
Self-confidence comes first from within you. What you feel inside comes across to the other person. The not-quite-beautiful woman thinks she is the best gift to earth and that men should be thankful that she is willing to date them. And thus it occurs.
Where does self-confidence come from? It comes from YOU! Have you ever heard the expression that you reap what you sow? Well, better believe it. When you keep saying: "I have no self-confidence," "I can't do such-and-such," "I am forgetful," "I never remember," "I'm too shy," etc. you are sowing a lot of things that lower your self-confidence. And guess what? So it becomes!
So as first step to self-confidence: disagree with all those voices in your head that tell you all those negative things. Don't relay those negative statements to others. When you do, you give negativity power and it grows. You catch yourself thinking something negative about yourself? Stop it right then and there. Disagree with it. And if you want to go one step further, say the opposite. The voice in your head says: "You are forgetful," you should say out loud "I have a great memory." The voice in your head says: "You are unattractive" you should say, "look how beautiful I look".
Let's put some more positivity and more self-confidence into the world!
Ruti Yudovich recently released her first successful novel, I Hate to Say Goodbye, based on her early years in Israel and the tragedy that brought her to America. For more information visit at: http://www.ihatetosaygoodbye.com/ 